older and wiser?
let me just start this one out by saying that i am a fucking idiot. so yes, this will be a post of the freak-out nature. now let me explain why. in one hour i have an essay due. it's done, it's just really shitty. in twenty -five hours i have a long research essay outline due. this hasn't even been started and i need primary sources. in twenty-six hours i have an exam that i haven't begun preparing for. this exam is in a class i need to get better than a b/c in which is my current grade. on thursday i have another exam in a class i am currently failing; obviously, i haven't started studying for this either. and once again, i have an essay due on friday. in fact, this will be a long essay that requires some research. yes, say it with me, "emma, you're fucked."
the best part about the stuff that's due tomorrow is that i have to work 6:30-10 tonight, which will undoubtedly been a great time. fuck.
ok kids, the word of the day is all-nighter! can you say "all-nighter?" this is when a person who is really stupid and likes to procratinate goes too far and needs to stay up all night to finish their work. let's use it in a sentence, such as "emma pulled an all-nighter to study for an exam and finish a research essay outline after completing a halloween shift at hot topic." very good kids, you learned a new word!
uh oh spaghetti-os
well i got a job at hot topic. i get to sell clothing to twelve year old goths for 20 hours a week. yay me.
guy got a job at hot topic too yay!
joe is awesome. he is possibly the coolest person in the history of the universe. enough said.
i can't sleep cuz my hall is loud and guy fed me a mocha. damned caffeine.
cupcakes!
it's amy's birthday today so melissa and i are getting her cupcakes. i'm too tired to work so i'm just gonna stay here and nap and do homework instead.
later on i need to talk to people about the things with the stuff to use dylan's words. i <3 dylan. he's like the coolest kid ever and i'm sad that he's not here to hit me with the commonsense stick right now.
i have a thing for rainbow tonight and then i'll be back online and homeworking and possibly being anxious too. well i'm gonna go get those cupcakes now.
some things of note
1. my parents gave a ten year old a gun for his birthday. i'm scared.
2. there's a good chance that i may have gotten the job at hot topic. its only seasonal but whatever.
3. i might get to study abroad next year. yep. i'm exicted.
4. i just wrote a shitty ass paper in a grand total of 45 minutes.
5. my new glasses are emo-rific.
6. apple pie is good <3.
7. there's nothing wrong with my car.
8. oshkosh was fun.
9. i get to put crosses on the lawn in front of main hall tonight.
10. i get to get amy cake for her birthday.
yay for happy things!
the cool gang
i now have two black masks in my car. and i love geo metros. i underestimated their fun capacity.
i'm waiting for a guy to finish a stupid test and a lady to show up for her appointment and then i'm going to oshkosh. it's really rainy and gross out so i bet taking the rustbucket for a road trip is gonna be oodles of fun.
oh well that's enough for now. i'll update tomorrow night after i get home from charlie's b-day party.
my head hurts
not much new to say. i'm sickly kinda. my head hurts and my tummy hurts. i think i'm gonna go to sleep soon.
tomorrow i think i'm seeing guy. saturday i'm leaving to go to oshkosh for the weekend; i will be back late sunday because i have to stop at my mom's on the way back.
yep. i'm done. i'm cold and tired and cranky and i'm going to bed.
rainbows and puppies and happiness
today was a gorgeous day. i worked and then spent time with guy and ate the messiest, best cheeseburger ever.
i get my glasses sunday!
i'm gonna get a soda and watch the fresh prince now.
plans
well finally i have plans for next weekend. they are as follows:
i will go down to oshkosh immediately (i think) following work on saturday evening. i will stay with greg for the night (probably on the floor) and then he will show me around campus on sunday. i will also buy him food because he never lets me pay for anything.
i will then proceed to wrightstown, where my brother charlie will be celebrating his tenth birthday. i will stay for dinner and then come back here.
there are other things to talk about, namely guy being an ass but i'll save those for other occasions.
some bad coffee
well i tried to make coffee last night. i say tried because it didn't work. it was horrid. but i stayed awake anyways.
umm well i'm gonna play dodgeball now. i'm the on the "bangers with balls" team. it should be fun.
i get paid tomorrow and if i can control my spending for the next two weeks i'm buying cds. lots of cds. and tomorrow i'm going in to work too.
i think that's about it for me. maybe i'll post more when i actually have something to say.
amazing night
so my evening started out really crappy. i had a bad headache and was overwhelmingly tired on top of being kinda crabby. well i called greg and we went to the movies with his friends amy and rachel. amy is really cool and it was nice to finally meet someone i'd heard so much about. rachel seemed cool too. the movie (elizabethtown) was pretty slow but i had a good time anyways. it was really nice to hang out with greg in a friendly (as in friends) manner.
when i got back to campus, i ran into steven, a friend of mine from high school. he was patrolling on the campus security bike and we stopped and had a chat about the good ol' days and his girlfriend issues and stuff. then i came back into my room and it appears that i am alone. i checked away messages and found that amy (my friend) is "ssoio fuckhin drunk", which made me giggle on the inside.
ucky things: claire bear i hope you feel better. boys are the devil. i'll kick him in the balls for you if you want.
all in all i had a great evening and hope to keep up my streak of good nights. speaking of good nights, good night.
NOT ON MY BED
so i have a bit of roommate drama. apparently lauren doesn't understand that my bed is not to be used by others. it has two uses: couch (that people dont sleep on) and my bed. it is not for her to fool around with magda on and it is not for them to sleep on. they have lauren's bed for such activities. this morning, i walked in on them both sleeping in MY BED. it was bad enough that she prettymuch kicked me out and i had to stay with stalin for three nights. because of this, i was almost late to an exam and i got a parking ticket. so needless to say i was excited to get back to MY ROOM because IT'S MY ROOM TOO BUT APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT (like lauren). and then when i got back she treated me like i was a fucking alien. APPERENTLY THE NOT IN MY BED RULE IS TO BE IGNORED. this pisses me off the most. they could have slept anywhere else just not in my bed is all i ask but when i get back they're in MY FUCKING BED.
enough said.
soooo
i'm back!!! well kind of....
i walked in to see lauren and her friend both asleep in my bed. NOT COOL.
more when i'm not angry anymore.
almost the weekend
well i'm certainly looking forward to tomorrow night when i will no longer have to deal with stalin. last night i was lectured for an hour and a half about my car. and he fought with sam about curfews. so friday night will be excellent; i get a sleepover with guy! yaaaaaaaaaaayyy! and saturday i took the whole day off so i could spend it with him and my friends (trevor, you know the number).
today was a good day. i worked for almost four hours (hell yes 30 bucks). when i got to work my boss was back from his trip through canadia and he brought me a gift: a scarf and a cool magnet! yes i know it's actually canada but canadia is cooler. so now i have a big black red and white canada scarf.
i don't want to go home tonight. i hate being there. dad yells and sam and he fight a lot and then he starts in on me and then i try to go to bed for some peace and quiet but that doesn't even work. and then this morning on my way to the middle eastern history exam, i was too late to park in the freshman lot like i'm supposed to so i parked in the commuter lot (because since my exile from my dorm room i have been a commuter) and i got a fucking parking ticket.
ok well that's my story of the day. tonight it's more studying cuz i'm not allowed to do a fucking thing cuz i'm stuck in my fucking house because lauren wants the room to herself for her friend to stay. i didn't really think this would be a huge problem until i got home. now i remember why i hated living at home so much. but i'm seriously done now.
greg- your updating blog would be a lot more interesting to me if i knew where it was. email me the link if you don't want everyone to see it.
guy- the rainbow over wisconsin was amazing.
joe- i'm worried? call me if you need to talk.
alex, jonny, and everyone else- i miss you all and i'm sad without my aim access. hopefully we'll get together this weekend?
oh yeah ..... I GOT A 94 ON MY MIDTERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that makes it one down, three to go. i'm spending most of tonight studying for the two essays i will be pulling out of my ass from 9- 9:50 tomorrow morning.
ok well that's it for me.
update
well i'm going home for a few days. i'll try to be online and post and such, but not tonight (i have an eye doctor appointment to get my eyes dilated). i will be stuck home with no company cuz you're all boys and that means you're evil. but this weekend i will be available to hang out and such so call friday if you want. well that's it for me so byes. oh and guy don't forget to call around 7:30/8 ish cuz i'll be at home bored and blinded.
Bitches Beware!!
grumbles
it's morning. it's early (for me at least).
i don't know what exactly i should post. i feel wrecked. stress and anxiety are killing me. it's time to go back on the meds. and now transferring is going to be a bigger headache than anything else. i think i fixed the problem with the aim but i'm not sure.i have class today and i didnt finish my homework. i have to talk to the prof about the assignment not working. oh shit. i'm dead. oh well.
tonight it's guy time i guess.
sooo much homework
that i'm just getting to now thanks to the virus i got from aim. yeah i can't get rid of it. don't expect me on aim anytime soon.
fuck. and i need to apply for a uw school now because i honestly want out of snc. and i feel bad because i'm going away from guy and i'm not going to have any friends there and it's gonna probably be worse than here but oh well. life will go on. i'm visiting greg in oshkosh to see how his campus works and i might transfer there if i like it. i should look into milwaukee like i had originally planned and eau claire cuz dad wants me to and possible point but i doubt that i would like it there at all. but we'll see.
i'm gonna do my homework now if i ever figure out how this g drive bullshit works.
so movies huh?
well i saved a movie to watch with guy cuz he wanted to watch it with me. now he's being a dick. fuck him, i'm sick of this shit.
i'm gonna put on pjs and watch movies and eat chinese food. if anyone wants to join me, call or stop over. unless your mick or guy. they are the two people i don't want to see right now. anyone else, your company is welcome.
in fact, i kinda wanted to hang out with people today, but i guess i'm not going to now.
loose lips sink ships
but hell this ship is already taking on water and listing to the starboard side so why not?
so guy and i are having some problems. this is really bugging me because i can't fix that he doesn't like my friends. the issue is getting way out of hand and i'm sick of yelling and crying and then getting major guilt trips because he went out and did something stupid/melodramatic. i'm stressed and tired all the time and he bitches about how i'm distant. you'd be distant too if you were falling behind in classes that you're paying $30,000 a year to go to. he doesn't understand that and gets kinda pissy about the college issue. i get pissy about him being pissy at me for things beyond my control. i'm insensitive and he's oversensitive (kind of a role reversal for a change). he "doesn't know what he'd do" without me and i would kill for some time to myself. fuck. i don't what to do, how to feel, what to say. i love him but sometimes i just don't think that's enough. the constant jealousy has to stop because it doesn't make me feel any better and it doesn't put him in a good mood either. i don't know anymore.
tonight i'm watching movies i rented. maybe seeing greg if he calls but that's probably not going to be happening because he has going-away festivities for a friend this weekend. so i think i'll just gorge on popcorn and watch roman holiday alone. this is a good thing. i like being alone sometimes. lately i don't get to be alone. take, for example, last night which was supposed to be my alone night. i ended up entertaining mick and guy at the same time. when i took guy home, we fought again. wehn i got back to my dorm, mick was still there. and he was being a dick about a variety of things, including my college choice, my boyfriend choice, and the fact that i just wanted to fucking sleep but he was still there. so yes. maybe tonight's alone time will actually happen.
mother fucking shit monkeys
so i had a marvelous time with thejoe and claire bear. however, it is quite clear to me now that they belong to two seperate worlds that do not mix very well at all.... oh well. i tried.
i'm fucking soaking wet because it has started pouring the two times i've left with claire today.
my tummy hurts cuz i ate too much. my leftover chicken mcnuggets will make everything better in the morning though.
i have the entire day off tomorrow. however, this means:
11 am lunch with grandpa
12:30-4 work at marriage and family (i need the hours)
5:45 ish-? (hopefully before seven or so) dinner at home with dad and lauren
7-? room cleaning, sleep, maybe seeing mick if i have time
friday looks like this:
10 am- eye appointment
11-ish -3 free time i think
3-8 work
8-? homework, maybe seeing greg if he has time
saturday:
8-5 work but i don't know for sure
evening or afternoon if time- visiting mother and picking out glasses
8 pm-? homework
sunday: homework
nothin' like the stench of failure in the (almost) morning
so i did quite badly on the exam. not all of it, just the essay. but considering the essay is worth like half of the exam, yes. badly indeed.
tomorrow i get lunch from grandpa and then i'm going to work. then lauren and i are going to my house for dinner. this shall be interesting, to say the least.
i want to go to sleep. but instead, i get to go to class.
staying on campus
i was going to go home, but since i'm going to leave when lauren's friend comes to visit, i'm going to stay on campus and preserve a little bit of independence this weekend instead of prettymuch staying home for a week. so my schedule is as follows: lots of studying, eating at home thursday, working, and maybe seeing friends too. you have to come visit me here though, because i refuse to visit the apartment. period. too much shit has been going down over there.
hopefully guy will come over a lot because when i'm home next week my father has made it very clear that he will not be welcome. so yeah. i really hate my house.
i used to be in the drama club.... part deux
so after talking to my cousin today i realized that some people (or should i say one person?) needs to STOP BEING A FUCKING EMO ASSHOLE. yeah. we all know who i'm talking about. btw, i will not be joining a social group (esp. not ec) so there's no need for anyone (esp. not the emo asshole in question) to debate my presence in one. i'm not here to step on anyone's toes (even if the toes in question belong to an asshole) and i will make my own path without any help from a social group where half of the members know of me because of whatever bullshit this asshole feeds them.
i'm done venting now and hopefully this will be the last time i have to vent about this particular subject.
yeah this sucks. i'm tired and crabby and still sick and i need to study but i can't cuz i have a hall meeting and guy's here and the tv is on. i'm gonna veg out and watch desperate housewives and then bring guy home. chris rock is fucking annoying.
i've said enough (too much? sorry....)
why? all i ask is why.
so big john tim and josh went a stealin' food and tim was caught on camera shoving ground beef down his pants. the cops came to mike's house and he had to take the police officer to the apartment or get into a shitload of trouble himsef. so i guess now john and tim are in jail and john called joe to bitch about how it was all mike's fault. however, it wasn't mike's fault that john lied to the police and said there wasn't any meat in the fridge. i will honestly say that mike was caught between a rock and a hard place and i think the decision he made was right. i will not be going to the apartment anymore, or at least not for a very very long time. i don't like these new tenants and i worry about big john but anyways it's bedtime for me. until i type again, goodbye.
