*****

loose lips sink ships

but hell this ship is already taking on water and listing to the starboard side so why not?

so guy and i are having some problems. this is really bugging me because i can't fix that he doesn't like my friends. the issue is getting way out of hand and i'm sick of yelling and crying and then getting major guilt trips because he went out and did something stupid/melodramatic. i'm stressed and tired all the time and he bitches about how i'm distant. you'd be distant too if you were falling behind in classes that you're paying $30,000 a year to go to. he doesn't understand that and gets kinda pissy about the college issue. i get pissy about him being pissy at me for things beyond my control. i'm insensitive and he's oversensitive (kind of a role reversal for a change). he "doesn't know what he'd do" without me and i would kill for some time to myself. fuck. i don't what to do, how to feel, what to say. i love him but sometimes i just don't think that's enough. the constant jealousy has to stop because it doesn't make me feel any better and it doesn't put him in a good mood either. i don't know anymore.

tonight i'm watching movies i rented. maybe seeing greg if he calls but that's probably not going to be happening because he has going-away festivities for a friend this weekend. so i think i'll just gorge on popcorn and watch roman holiday alone. this is a good thing. i like being alone sometimes. lately i don't get to be alone. take, for example, last night which was supposed to be my alone night. i ended up entertaining mick and guy at the same time. when i took guy home, we fought again. wehn i got back to my dorm, mick was still there. and he was being a dick about a variety of things, including my college choice, my boyfriend choice, and the fact that i just wanted to fucking sleep but he was still there. so yes. maybe tonight's alone time will actually happen.

posted by emma @ 4:25 PM