*****

I wrote this last night.

Every time I think I'm rid of something, it comes back to bite me in the ass. Paul and I were talking about something and it reminded me of Andrew. This is slightly upsetting for numerous reasons. Andrew is no longer a part of my life. I have changed a great deal since he and I dated. I prefer the person I am now, and, truth be told, I'm not especially fond of him anymore either. This is perhaps the most painful part, as it is difficult to deal with knowing that someone I once cared for has become someone whose presence can make me fill physically ill. He certainly wasn't the one who changed me. However, I am the one who changed him. This makes me feel guilty whenever something comes up that reminds me of him because it reminds me that I made a person become bitter, immoral, and violent. I wish I could erase everything and pretend it never happened. Make sense?

posted by emma @ 3:16 PM