*****

%^**&(^%&^$%&^^&(*(*U)%#$###@

so i'm freaking out about a lot of things right now. and i am going to talk about right here on my blog. if you don't want to read about it, don't. i am giving you fair warning.

i tried talking to greg thinking he'd understand but he's being stupid so i guess that was a mistake. i'm scared about college. really scared. i'm terrified of failure. i'm going to move into a tiny room with a girl i don't know and start classes in god knows what because i don't even know what i want to do but i am supposed to have that all figured out already and i'm only 18 years old. all my old friends seem to have disappeared, not that i don't love and appreciate my new ones but they haven't been with me the way people like claire and dylan have. half of me just wants to go back to a year ago when i was sure of who i was and where i was going because somewhere along the way i lost that. everyone's gone and i don't even know where i am right now. my head is spinning. i don't know who to talk to about this so i'm putting it on the internet where millions of anonymous people have access to it and the friends who read it can tell me to stop bitching if they choose to.

it seems so strange to me that i have become a completely different person in the course of one year. i dont know if its for the better or not yet, but it definately is bizarre. i certainly like some of the new things, but i really miss some of the old too. it even seems like i'm different than i was a month ago. i don't know anymore.

posted by emma @ 4:25 PM