resolutions
I have a few resolutions this year. First and foremost, I want to get out of debt. Even if it means taking a second job and living like a poor person. Secondly, I want to be more fit; this doesn't mean just losing weight, it means I don't want to feel like dying after walking my dog and I'm sick of jiggling when I run. I also quit eating fast food which is hard when you're dating someone as lazy as Chris. Finally, I would like to own my own home, even if it is a craphole. I don't want to rent and I miss living in Green Bay. As long as I have a roommate, I should be able to afford a small home with a yard for Barnaby to run in. I feel like everything I want to do is far-fetched but I'm going to make it happen. If I can accomplish even one thing on my list I'm that much closer to feeling in control of myself again. I think I've spent a long time kind of floating along without any idea of who I am or what I want to be, and this is the year to figure everything out. Wish me luck!
trapped by a blizzard
my door is holding out about three feet of snow right now...... its drifting around my building. chris has to leave and drive to work in an hour, which scares me shitless.
things are incredibly quiet right now. i like it that way. i have had almost no drama since april, which has made my life easier and my blood pressure lower. i'm sure it's going to get worse now that christmas is here, just because my family hates me and groups give me panic attacks. appointments are picking up at the office too, so i'm dealing with more assholes than ever. i'm really beginning to dread tax season, but i'm sure it will be a piece of cake compared to dealing with my family, chris' family, and his birthday in the span of two days. i have no idea what to get him or his sister (i drew her name from the hat) or my dad or anyone at all as a matter of fact. i'm putting the tree up tonight, but i stopped for a bit because there is so much crap to hang. i seem to have lost about half of my bulbs and i had a hard time figuring out how to put everything together but it worked out. i have a charlie brown tree. it's fake and white and tilts to the left a little thanks to muchkin, who has taken at least three ornaments already. i love christmas but hate it at the same time. all the bad shit seems to happen at christmas. i like the lights and the candy canes and all but then some shit happens to make it suck. for now i'll just focus on the good.
chris and i have spent most of the day cleaning, which sucked a lot. i fucking hate cleaning. especially when barnaby is chasing cats around me and i just want to finish the dishes. on the plus side, now barnaby is tired so he won't bother me too much tonight. i think its time for a drink and then bed. yep, i'm a loser. i'm 20 years old, and i'm going to sleep at 8:30 on a saturday. i'm a college dropout, a cat lady, and a hermit. oh well.
happy thanksgiving and all that shit
this is how my thanksgiving will go: give my dad his birthday present (a quesadilla maker wrapped in spiderman wrapping paper), maybe if i'm lucky have a drink, go to my aunt's house. at my aunt's house i will be lectured on going back to school about 6 times before i actually sit down. then, they pretend to like me and i try not to be noticed. then i get a vaugely disapproving lecture on some other facet of my life (probably the lack of health insurance, the fact that i have three cats, or that i live in sin with chris). maybe if i'm lucky i get to go home at this point. then i get to go to bed (probably without chris cuz he'll be too drunk to get home tonight) and go to work in the morning. yay.
blogging from home
for the first time in about 2 years.... well..... i don't even know what to say, but i've been jabbering here for about 3 years now so why stop now?
chris moved in. it rocks. barnaby and the kitties get along a little better now. munchkin is stalking him right now. there's a massive television set in my living room, which belongs to chris, which is only one of the perks of him moving in. i'm at a loss for things to type, so i'm done for now.
farewell jetta....
and hello focus! i was the middle of a 3 car pileup on wednesday. i'm prettymuch ok, but the car really isn't. luckily, i can go after the bitch that hit me for damages. in the meantime, i have to get a new car :(. i went to look at a focus today and if the financing works out i'll be driving it home tomorrow. poor chris is my chauffer for the time being, which is nice but also sucks cuz sometimes i have to drive the monte myself, which i hate doing. i'm terrified i'll hurt his car, but it can't be as bad as mine looks. i'll post pics eventually once i figure out how to; it's pretty messed up.
ah life
so things are good but busy. posts will become more regular when chris moves in, not like anyone cares. not much to say for now, but i've been posting on here since i was 17 so it's kind of become a habit.
i'm bad at keeping up with things
i have a dog now. his name is barnaby the big dumb doggie. he's an airedale/black lab mix and he's adorable and ugly and i love him. chris does too, even though he won't admit it. barnaby is six and is very excited to have a home, which means that his tail is a weapon and he protects his new mommy at all costs from the scary little furry things that try to go near her (the kitties). munchies and cooper are hanging out in the kitchen for now, and boomer just wanders about crying, wondering what to do with all the new space. i'm moved in almost completely, which is pretty damn cool. chris hangs out there a lot, which is cool cuz he takes the dog out. the hicks upstairs are ok; the guy and i hang out and have pit fires in the backyard. two days ago, jerry came down with a smoky treat for me and chris :). Lately, i've been chilling at home a lot; work is becoming UNBEARABLE, mostly because i'm dr soncrant's new enemy. apparently i'm incompetent and useless. oh well. i had an interview at kolbe accounting, and i'm waiting on them to call me back. i really hope i get that job. it's an opportunity to start all over again and learn some new things at a higher pay rate.
i've been depressed lately, but it was mostly because of the big changes in my life- dog, boyfriend, job worries, moving,and some more things. cassandra, a woman i feel fortunate to have met through women's studies programs and rainbow alliance activities, died in a car accident a few weeks ago. cassandra taught me to be a woman, and to not be ashamed of it; she was the type of person who was passionate about everything in her life from women's rights issues to the project she was working on. she electrified everything she touched, and we are lucky that she has left some of her magic with us; her poetry has helped me and many others to cope. she was possibly the most amazing women i've ever met, and i'm still in shock. four days later, my dad's friend mike died. i've known him for as long as i can remember, so even though i didn't much like him, it was unsettling to hear of his passing. i'm hoping that soon the sadness and problems will pass and that things will go back to normal, because normal is better now than it's ever been before.
