resolutions
I have a few resolutions this year. First and foremost, I want to get out of debt. Even if it means taking a second job and living like a poor person. Secondly, I want to be more fit; this doesn't mean just losing weight, it means I don't want to feel like dying after walking my dog and I'm sick of jiggling when I run. I also quit eating fast food which is hard when you're dating someone as lazy as Chris. Finally, I would like to own my own home, even if it is a craphole. I don't want to rent and I miss living in Green Bay. As long as I have a roommate, I should be able to afford a small home with a yard for Barnaby to run in. I feel like everything I want to do is far-fetched but I'm going to make it happen. If I can accomplish even one thing on my list I'm that much closer to feeling in control of myself again. I think I've spent a long time kind of floating along without any idea of who I am or what I want to be, and this is the year to figure everything out. Wish me luck!
trapped by a blizzard
my door is holding out about three feet of snow right now...... its drifting around my building. chris has to leave and drive to work in an hour, which scares me shitless.
things are incredibly quiet right now. i like it that way. i have had almost no drama since april, which has made my life easier and my blood pressure lower. i'm sure it's going to get worse now that christmas is here, just because my family hates me and groups give me panic attacks. appointments are picking up at the office too, so i'm dealing with more assholes than ever. i'm really beginning to dread tax season, but i'm sure it will be a piece of cake compared to dealing with my family, chris' family, and his birthday in the span of two days. i have no idea what to get him or his sister (i drew her name from the hat) or my dad or anyone at all as a matter of fact. i'm putting the tree up tonight, but i stopped for a bit because there is so much crap to hang. i seem to have lost about half of my bulbs and i had a hard time figuring out how to put everything together but it worked out. i have a charlie brown tree. it's fake and white and tilts to the left a little thanks to muchkin, who has taken at least three ornaments already. i love christmas but hate it at the same time. all the bad shit seems to happen at christmas. i like the lights and the candy canes and all but then some shit happens to make it suck. for now i'll just focus on the good.
chris and i have spent most of the day cleaning, which sucked a lot. i fucking hate cleaning. especially when barnaby is chasing cats around me and i just want to finish the dishes. on the plus side, now barnaby is tired so he won't bother me too much tonight. i think its time for a drink and then bed. yep, i'm a loser. i'm 20 years old, and i'm going to sleep at 8:30 on a saturday. i'm a college dropout, a cat lady, and a hermit. oh well.
